i can’t breath properly. I’m so anxious i think I’m going to throw up… someone come and be an adult for me.
As Ke$ha heals at a treatment facility for an ongoing battle with anorexia and bulimia, her mother, Pebe Sebert, sheds more light on just how bad the singer’s struggle had gotten. She tells PEOPLE in an exclusive interview that weight bullying could have killed the singer.
"I’ve watched my beautiful, self-confident, brilliant daughter be berated and ridiculed for her looks and weight to the point that she almost died,” Sebert says.
"The doctors told me her blood pressure and sodium levels were so low, they’d never seen it that low except with someone who’d had a heart attack or stroke. They said it was a miracle she hadn’t already dropped dead on stage."
According to Sebert, Ke$ha, 26, had been battling body issues since middle school, but they’d progressively gotten worse since she signed with longtime producer Dr. Luke and former manager David Sonenberg, when she was just 18.
"One time on a conference call, Sonenberg was screaming, ‘You need to lose weight! I don’t care what you do … take drugs, not eat, stick your finger down your throat!’ " Sebert tells PEOPLE.
"Ke$ha was just weeping. She drove around afterward thinking about killing herself." (Sonenberg denied any of the allegations.)
And apparently Dr. Luke, the pop hitmaker who has written huge songs for Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry and Jessie J, was just as bad.
"He has just always been very disrespectful about her weight. He’d say it in certain ways, like ‘Why don’t you try running?’ She was doing everything and not getting thin fast enough, and that’s when she first became bulimic."
In a statement through his rep, Dr. Luke also denied the claim.
"It is unfortunate that at a time Ke$ha is suffering immensely and trying to heal at a treatment center, her mother is taking this approach with the media," he said. "I give Ke$ha my utmost support and well wishes for a quick return to health."
Still, at the American Music Awards in November, it was obvious the singer looked painfully thin. Sebert says friends and family had their suspicions of an eating disorder, so someone would usually follow her into the bathroom after she ate.
"But she could throw up really quickly and quietly. She’d even take a bag in there so no one could see her bent over the toilet. She was really sneaky," Sebert explains.
The final straw came right before Christmas, when Ke$ha pulled over at a gas station to throw up after a dinner party.
"She called me and admitted how much she’d been throwing up, and I just said, ‘Okay.’ I called some centers and Ke$ha agreed to talk to them and liked what they said. She basically cried until we got there three days later." (Ke$ha is being treated at the female-only facility Timberline Knolls, outside of Chicago.)
After visiting her daughter during family weekend last week, Sebert made the surprise decision to check in to the facility herself to recover from post-traumatic stress disorder over the whole ordeal.
"Ke$ha wants me to heal along with her," Sebert said.
As for the next steps, Sebert says they’ll take a wait and see approach once Ke$ha is well enough to come home.
"At this point, she doesn’t care if she ever makes a record again. She just wants to be healthy and happy," Sebert says.
Apparently some vegans are telling people not to eat honey to support bees.
STOP. STOP NOW.
DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW BEES WORK?
Buy honey (local if possible) -> support beekeepers -> support bees.
I swear people don’t even think this stuff out.
Beekeepers provide bees with an environment in which they can live, and are encouraged to thrive. Bees then have a big huge giant person who can deal with any threats to the hive.
Yes, honey is a winter food supply for bees, but beekeepers (unless they’re dicks, in which case they’d be shooting themselves in the foot) will NEVER take too much honey from a hive, and will always ensure that bees have enough food. Think about it, you’re not going to starve a source of income/hobby, are you?
I think a few ppl took Bee Movie too seriously.
as a beekeeper i can confirm that we only ever take SURPLUS honey from a hive. there are two main sections to most commercially produced hives, the brood box and the ‘supers’ (short for superfluous). the brood box contains the supplies the hive will need for the winter, while the supers are where extra honey goes when the brood box is full (a queen excluder stops the queen bee laying eggs in your nice honey). a beekeeper will never take honey from the brood box, and if a hive is running short on supplies in winter they can be fed sugar syrup or fondant to keep them going. bees with a beekeeper = a happy and thriving hive!
you say you love me. So why more than a year down the track haven’t you realised that one of my biggest pet peeves is repeating what i say.
How Breasts Can Look
A little while back, I made a post about the Reality of Nude Photos, and the public reaction that really surprised me in response was that it seemed like a lot of people had never actually seen a female body in different positions like that before. Lots of people didn’t believe that both of the images in that post were really me, because my breasts looked so different in the two pictures.
And that really stuck with me. Not any kind of frustration at the disbelief I received, but a genuinely eye-opening realization that people didn’t know what breasts can look like when they’re just flopped around in a picture or looked at from a different side.
I certainly don’t have the same breasts as every other woman out there, so this is in no way meant to represent all of womankind. Not by a long shot. Breasts come in all shapes and sizes and each woman is unique in the way that they will stretch, sag, move, bounce, and so on. Women have different nipples, different sized areolae, and very differently shaped breasts.
These are my breasts. 12 photos of them just hanging out and doing their thing. Every woman in the world could make this photo chart and it would be a little bit different each time. And in my opinion, that is one of the most wonderful and amazing things about the human body.
THIS IS A GOOD POST THAT A LOTTTTT OF CHICKS I SEE POSTING SOMETIMES ((BEING A BIT DOWN ABOUT THEIR BOOBS)) DON’T REALISE!!!!!
The Reality of Nude Photos
Alright, so this is a little bit of an unrelated note to my regular posts, but I feel like it’s important. I want to take just a quick minute to explain the difference I see between a naked body that’s posed and a naked body that is just that: a naked body.
When we look at naked people on the internet (be it Porn Stars, “selfies” taken by internet-famous bloggers, or professional freelance models), they are almost always in these poses that elongate the body, stretch out the muscles, show off the ribs, push the breasts forward and hide all of those squishy rolls that happen when we relax. I am not attacking them, so please don’t feel defensive if those are the kinds of photos you are a part of. They’re beautiful, I have no problem with them. I just feel called to point out that a body that looks so “sexy” or “slender” or “desirable” in one picture, can look squishy, vulnerable and saggy in the next just by letting go of a pose. No one wants to post those pictures, those are the ones you delete before they’re even out of the camera. No one wants to say, “Hey! Here’s a selfie of how my tummy puffs out and look, can you see the stretch marks on my breasts!?”
I took both of those pictures this morning, minutes apart. They’re both me. They’re both completely unedited. They are simply meant to show the difference between a body that is carefully designed to be sexy and well-received, and a body that is just sitting there being a naked body on a bed in the morning.
I’m not saying that people shouldn’t pose in photos, or that photos designed to look sexy are bad whatsoever, so please don’t think that’s what I’m getting at. I just felt like sharing a picture of what a body really looks like sitting on a bed, instead of an image of what a body looks like carefully posed on a bed.
Miss Mosh ~ Lynda Kay “I Put A Spell On You”
I can feel wings on my back. I found myself staring at pictures of self harm. I can’t seem to eat normally. My anxiety is so bad I haven’t slept well in weeks.
And all I can think of is dear gods, please. Not this shit again.
So I’m at the point where I’m dangerously calm and I just want to have a bath and just lay under the water for a while. Who knows maybe I’ll learn how to breath in water instead of air.
The worst part about being calm like this, is there is always that little part of me screaming and saying it isn’t good, that being like this is dangerous. that i am a danger to myself like this.
And I have no idea if that part of me is common sense or anxiety.